The 3 Pillars: Love, Respect and Trust
Love, respect, and trust are, in my opinion, the three most important elements in any relationship, regardless of what species one belongs to. These three elements are the fundamental components with which we work.
Love is the most valuable element in a relationship. It creates happiness, safety, comfort, and security within a relationship. Unfortunately, love has very little to do with a canine being responsive to a handler.
Respect on the other hand is the key element within a canine-human relationship that makes it a working relationship. I do not want people to associate the word “respect” with “fear” and “constant discipline;” that is not what I am talking about. When I allude to “respect,” it is in the sense of appreciation towards communication between the handler and the dog due to the handler’s ideal guidance. The handler is certainly viewed as one of alpha status, therefore, a dominant figure, however the handler, also thought of by the canine as a true friend. That is what separates the ideal handler and the straight up disciplinarian. One has to earn a canine’s respect. To prove oneself to a dog can be very difficult at times. I find that people tend to treat dogs like people, or attempt to use various training methods that a dog does not understand or creates premature peaks in their training. If the handler cannot prove to the canine that it can give the canine the proper guidance necessary to do what the handler is requesting, then the dog will take its’ own advice! Communicating with a canine can be very challenging for many people. I do feel that I have innate abilities to communicate with canines to the degree that I have had to communicate with them over the years. I cannot teach a person all of my talents, however, using them, I can guide one successfully down the road to having a happy respectful, and obedient companion. When one understands dogs, they can see what simple creatures they really are. I have both seen and made canines do amazing things. This is not because they think like we do, conversely, they use their incredible instinctive senses to reason and solve situations. We as the handlers must use these senses while working with the dog. If we do not, then there senses will surely be used against us. In order to make progress one must understand a dog’s “language” when working with a dog and the dog’s perspective. Always ask yourself after working with your dog, “what did the dog think of that?” Asking this question should give you simple answers to how things went. Remember that if the dog doesn’t feel like you are making progress then you are not. The two species in this relationship do not speak the same language and I am the translator. I have worked with over 2300 dogs in my young life, and I feel very confident in stating that ALL problems that people have with their dog, from the dog not listening to them, to the most aggressive situations, that are acquired behaviors, stem from a lack of respect for the handler and from a lack of education. Through proper natural communication with the canine to educate it, the handler will gain respect from the dog. If there is a person that a canine looks to for guidance and authority, that dog will make much wiser decisions around the clock, from our perspective of course.
Dogs are what I call a total package creature. This means that to gain respect from them, a person’s handling has to be as flawless as possible. Once a handler starts demanding work from the dog, the dog will constantly be looking for flaws at all times; for the handler to make. They will do this especially with people that they have a past of disobeying. A prime time that the handler needs to be on their toes is when he or she first tries assuming control of the canine and when distractions occur, both of these situations can occur at the same time. The handler will never have control of the canine if he or she does not prove himself or herself in these challenging times. This is a prime time to gain mega respect from the canine if the handler performs well. They look for excuses not to listen to a handler that has not yet received respect from them. The more respect the handler gains, the less the dog tests the handler. With dogs, it is the little things that count. Again, they are looking for excuses, so do the best to not let them find any! Many canines find their excuses for not listening, inside the home. This is because people naturally get more comfortable and let their guard down inside the home. When one works outside and the dog is placed on a sit-stay from ten feet away with no leash on, the handler remains very aware of the dog’s attitude and environment. In comparison, placing the dog on a sit-stay in the living room on the rug, five feet away from the handler, the handler may become complacent. Outside, the handler remains on top of things due to the greater chance of harm to the dog, whereas inside, when the dog breaks the sit-stay, the handler might allow it, owing to a long day of work and wanting to unwind, and knowing that the dog is safe. To the person it may not seem like a big deal. But this is when the dog takes its’ cheat sheet out and puts a check on the handler in the, “They Cannot Control Me Category.” Make sure that if a command is given that it is followed through from start to finish. If the handler is not in the mood or lacks the energy to follow through with a command, the handler will give the dog a message signifying a lack of control.
If the handler is viewed by the canine as simply a boss, it might be a working relationship, but not a happy one. We have to approach the dog as a friend who is trying to help the dog successfully complete a task. The rules that the handler creates along the way should be viewed as such by the dog, however, thought more of as guidance. This strictly depends on how well the handler can communicate with the canine. Canines like to do things well. The ideal handler can keep the canine’s mind on the task at hand. This is accomplished through quality handling. If one can keep the canine thinking about what one wants it to be thinking about, while remaining positive, then the canine is more likely to remain positive as well. Using my methods, the handler will maximize this needed connection. To achieve a more personal relationship with the canine, the handler must respect the canine as much as the handler expects respect from the canine. This must be a mutually respectful relationship for it to be ideal or at the very least… a pseudo mutualistic relationship.
When working with love and respect, one has to really take the canine’s individualism into account. One must walk a fine line down the road of love and respect. If one is too compassionate, the canine will run all over the handler, and if one is too firm, the canine will shut down, or turn on the handler. This, generally, is how to look at it, but each personality will teeter slightly one way or the other usually causing the handler to teach the canine according to its’ personality. Always start off middle of the road and learn the individual dog, “be as firm as the dog makes you be,” but that should never result in hitting the dog.
Trust is the last component used in making my methods work. Trust is the progressive element of the relationship. One will not gain progress unless one trusts their dog. Dogs learn best through trial and error. It is minimizing the error that gives the dog the understanding of the guidance and the importance of the task. The handler has to allow the dog to initiate a mistake before giving a correction. That is all that needs to happen. The handler should not allow the dog to complete a mistake, the sooner the correction the better. You must not prevent the dog from initiating the mistaking. Example: the dog is on a sit-stay and as a distraction enters the immediate environment you see the dog peaking interest in this distraction… it’s human nature to want to prevent this mistake by reinforcing the stay command verbally or physically with tension if standing directly next to the dog. If this is done you as a handler have not taught the dog any self-control therefore you cannot trust the dog anymore the next time the distraction occurs. Restrain equals tension and tension equals no communication. The canine must feel controlled but not due to the handler limiting the dog’s actions in a physical manner, but in a psychological one. The canine should always view the environment in relation to the handler, as one of trust. Again, allowing the dog to do as it pleases and the handler explaining to the canine, the desired and undesired actions that the canine performs throughout any given day whether it is while working or on a break. I find the trust factor to be the most difficult component in the canine and handler relationship.
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